Bill Snyder Laughed SO Hard…: Kate. (obscenity). Upton.

“First and foremost, coaches, and then players, have to really recognize what are the issues. We’re in that process right now. We got a decent start on it (Monday), and we hope to continue through the week.” – Bill Snyder, doing a “Monday’s” joke.

Good afternoon and how the hell are ya!? I’m so glad you’re here, because on this week’s BSLSH, a grave injustice will be avenged! It has the nation talking, and word is Bill Snyder himself is aghast. Also–along with (of course) some thoughts on your very own K-State Wildcats–observations on the Star Wars vs Star Trek debate will be sprinkled in.

And, here…we…go:

• KATE UPTON WAS CALLED FAT. KATE #$@!ing UPTON!  Who has the right to do such a thing? Kate Upton is a goddess! Kate Upton’s picture is used in eye doctors’ offices to determine if patients can see! If the patient says, “She looks fat” the doctor immediately begins lasik surgery. Oh no! A woman who actually eats and looks DAMN healthy! Someone grab a halter and a set of bells!
• Speaking of bells… wow, that woman is gifted. 
• Collin Klein made the O’Brien award watch list for best college quarterback for the upcoming season. That’s pretty awesome. It’s amazing how far he has come. It wasn’t that long ago fans were debating between him and Justin Tuggle. Now, Tuggle has been moved to linebacker. No word, though, on who would be the better linebacker.
• It’s KATE UPTON! Come on! If she’s “fat”, I’m the ugliest person to ever exist! (Easy now… it’s a humor column and I’m adorable.)
• Sticking with football, EA Sports has Kansas State in the national championship this coming season (with an undefeated season to boot) in this year’s college football video game. It was done by the game simulating the entire season simply based on team statistics.
• Star Trek is on FX, and it was just stabbed in the face with a commercial.
• I’ve been surprised that many fans haven’t either A.) bought his/her K-State 2012 BCS National Championship shirt already, or B.) at least verbally declared the big trophy. C’mon guys! It’s EA Sports! We’re awesome! It’s inevitable!
• The blogger named “Skinny Gurl” — who I assume is some spelling-challenged 13-year old trust-fund tween — said of Miss Upton “Huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs, terrible body definition — she looks like a squishy brick. Is this what American women are ‘striving’ for now? The lazy, lardy look?” YES.  Yes they are. And if that is what Kate Upton looks like, then YES A MILLION TIMES. Dinner time, Skinny Gurl… it’s time to watch MTV and not notice your mom’s botched boob job.
• The K-State basketball team is getting ready for Brazil. I sincerely hope all goes well for the guys and new head coach Bruce Weber. Seems like things are going smooth for the program and no one has had anything really negative to report. Which, is such a change since the last regime.
• The thing about Star Trek is that it’s more intellectual than Star Wars. And easy on the proton torpedoes and thermal detonators, Star Wars fans. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Star Wars has always been much stronger in story and themes. I even watched Episode 1 in 3D on opening night this winter. Yeah… I’m a fan. But the new J.J. Abrams Star Trek brings out the best in the franchise and does so in a super fun and intellectual way. There’s a lot going on and there is much more to keep up with.
• Oh yeah… K-State has an Olympian!!! High-jumper Erik Kynard is eight days away from the 2012 London Games. The Purple Pride from KSU nation has been cool to see for a sport that otherwise doesn’t get near the attention it deserves.
• I mean, Captain Kirk is born in the WORST possible situation. Some white bald guy with TATS comes from the future,  goes BLITZKRIEG on the SAME fleet his mom and dad are A PART OF and his dad is the ONLY ONE LEFT to save his mom, HIS OWN SELF… while being BORN, and 800 others by GOING KAMIKAZE! Luke, on the other hand, got to see Natalie Portman’s lady-parts. Point Star Trek.
• I spelled “blitzkrieg” correct on the first try.
• Kate, if you are reading this, I apologize on behalf of that terrible, angry 13-year old. You are perfection. There is nothing wrong with you. There is everything wrong with us. If you need someone to talk to… someone to lean on… someone to watch “Magic Mike” with, let me know. I’m here for you.

That’s it for this week, my friends. Join me and watch Kate Upton runway videos to protest this great debacle!

See ya next time. Go State.